If I thought before that I didn't have much time to blog, what must life be like now? I get computer time a lot of times when she is eating (which can take about an hour per feeding, she's a slow, lazy eater!), but I've found myself too scatterbrained to create a coherent post. So, apologies, this will probably be all over the place!
Olive is a month old. This post is probably going to be full of cliches, the first being this: time DOES fly. I frequently get emotional as I realize how fast the days are speeding by, and how you can't regain them, as well as how much she's growing! We absolutely cherish these days where Olive clings to our chest and falls into a deep sleep for hours. Where her only desire is to be held and be close to Mommy. About a week ago she gave me her first real, non-gas, non-sleepy smile! Every day now, in the afternoon, she gives me a huge, gummy, mouth open, tongue out smile when I get up close to her face, talk to her, and stroke her face and head. There are few things on the planet that could delight the heart more.
It's been a wonderfully selfish type of relationship. When babies come out of the womb, Mom is all they know and their only source of comfort. They crave our smell, the sound of our heartbeat, being at the breast, and hearing our voice. Olive's life is so simple. At this stage of her life, she cries when she's hungry or lonely, that's about it (unless it's during her 'witching hour' at night. She gets fussy around 6-9 every night)! Just hearing those pitiful little whimpers coming from her room in the middle of the night or early morning cause me to jump out of bed, no matter how tired I am, and readily scoop up that little swaddled bundle and kiss her mad little face. Her absolute reliance upon me for sustenance and comfort is wonderful, if not terrifying and weighty.
Now, that's not to say that I don't ever hand her off to Colin. I love handing her off to him when he gets home at night... He's so ready to see his daughter after a long day! He's absolutely amazing at putting her down to sleep at night, too, which affords me a little break (and a shower!) and gives him some snuggle time with Olive. Sometimes it takes her one or two hours to go down at night for the first time, and Colin graciously does whatever it takes to get her to sleep (he even got in the car at 1:30 am the other night to drive her around. she loves her car seat. It worked like a charm!)
We also have some big news! Colin took a job in Wake Forest, North Carolina, and we're moving to Raleigh/Durham on June 1st! Back to the area I grew up in. I never thought I'd move back, but for a lot of reasons, we are, and we're very excited about it! We weren't quite actively pursuing moving, although it has been on our radar for a while, but a great job opportunity was dropped into Colin's lap and everything providentially fell right into place. We are really excited for new opportunities, as well as being really close to my family and much closer to Colin's! After having Olive, it became apparent that being near to one's family is important and valuable. We want Olive to know her grandparents, aunts and uncle, and we want them to see her grow! And truthfully, having the extra eager hands to help out (built-in, happy to help babysitters as well as support) will be amazing.
It's been really hard, though, as we prepare ourselves to leave our home. Colin and I met, dated, fell in love, and began our lives together here in Columbia. It's peppered with our favorite spots and so many memories. The parking garage where he proposed, the sushi restaurant where we had our first date, the coffee shop/bar where we got to know each other over many, many cups of coffee, our favorite restaurants (korean, indian, sushi), and hardest of all, our amazing church family/youth group and our friends. We have great community here, and saying goodbye to people who we love will be really overwhelming and hard. To be honest, I'm scared of moving to a place that, although it's familiar, is pretty "new" in that I haven't lived there for 6 years. I'm scared that we won't find a solid community/church and quality friends. But we will trust that we've been led to this place and these things will be provided!
So, if you still live in the Cary/Raleigh area, let's be friends! Also, if you have a great community-oriented church, please let us know. We'd love to visit!
grace and peace.