contentment and desire.

i feel like where we're at has to be the strangest, most divided stage of life.

in one sense, my mind is absolutely swimming with possibilities and desires. we've graduated college with degrees in both bible and some sort of science/art (me: psychology, him: biblical languages), we are married, and we're paying off our school loans piece by piece. we've prayed for years and years and felt led by God in our giftings and desires. we've sought wisdom and teaching from those around us. my heart feels absolutely overwhelmed at times with longing for places i've never even been. Colin and i frequently play a game where we ask each other random questions throughout the day, just to hear the response. most of the times they're silly or imaginative questions. it seems as though anytime he's asked me, "if you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?" i respond with, "india." plain and simple. my heart is yearning for that place. not for any romanticized view i have of it, or for the food, dress, or culture... simply because i feel as though God has placed the desire in us and there is work for us to do. i can't explain it, but my soul groans for that land.

but in another sense, my heart is oddly and wonderfully content here. although neither of us have jobs that we love or family in the area, we are surrounded by good friends, a church that we love and are able to serve in, and a knowledge that God has us here right now. i think one of the worst things that we as young people do is yearn so much for the next stage of life or other places that we forget that God has us here, and we are called to obey, minister, and be joyful in this moment. wherever we are, and however pleasant or unpleasant it is. i think we miss out on so many opportunities to grow and serve when our hearts are overwhelmed with want for another place or another point in time. this contentment is beautiful. we can see God teaching us things that are best learned here and now; stretching, growing and sanctifying both in small steps and in long strides.

Colin and i have always said that we want to stay in our old trailer, with terrible air conditioning/heating, a leaky roof, no yard to speak of and few possessions rather than moving into a larger and nicer house/apartment because we refuse to become attached to our material things, knowing that we aren't supposed to stay here. too many people become entranced by their collections and comfort to the detriment of their calling. the reason i write this is because Colin and i can see why-- we can see that tendency in ourselves, however small it may be, to want comfort over discomfort. we refuse to foster it. we want to trust God for everything and be ready to give it all away for the sake of the Gospel and our specific call to take it to india, if that is His Will.

pray with us in this time, and rejoice in the circumstances that God has provided, because He is good and worthy of our praise!

grace and peace,
the wife.